11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
