Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
