OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
