why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
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