naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
