If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
