Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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