When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
our cab driver is having phone sex.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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