so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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