just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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