He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
