It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
love makes seman taste better
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
