just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
ttyl tear gas
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize