I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
