that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just invented taco cereal.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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