...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
