defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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