Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
