In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
