Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
