Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
