i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
