If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
