In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
