At least make sure they are 18
Why
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
