I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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