It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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