Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize