yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
