Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
