theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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