Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
