She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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