would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
