do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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