hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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