So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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