her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
