Porn is love you can see.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
