and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
