covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
