Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
