You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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