Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
