so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
