I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
