I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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