Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize