It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
