would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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