Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
