Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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