she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
