Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
