the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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