ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Sponge bath it is.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
