Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
