Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just google imaged poop.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
