16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Acid is not a monday night drug
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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