dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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