were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
