She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
