I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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