That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
