I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
